Chapter 16
They were all the same person.
The speaker’s words seemed nothing more than an ordinary statement, his low voice drifting away with the sound of gongs and drums beside the flower carriage, dissolving into the laughter and chatter of children.
The words came too quickly, and vanished just as fast.
So quickly, in fact, that An Wuxue almost thought he had misheard.
He had heard Xie Zhefeng mention “an old friend” several times before.
Except for the last time when he realized it was himself, he had never paid it any mind.
Life is fleeting; countless hands could be called “old friends” by the Cold Sword Venerable. Among them, the least likely was himself.
But now, Xie Zhefeng spoke to him, saying that all he mentioned referred to one person.
How could this be possible?
How could it be?
He stood there, stunned.
Xie Zhefeng seemed to have other matters on his mind and did not notice his unusual expression.
After the flower carriage departed, Xie Zhefeng looked toward the mighty Sword of Illuminated Waters towering in the center of the city, his eyes deep and distant.
After a moment, Xie Zhefeng turned and walked toward the inn.
An Wuxue followed blindly behind.
In Zhaoshui City, filled with songs and dances, daytime vendors lined both sides of the street, bustling with pedestrians.
In a place where mortals and cultivators coexist, cultivators generally do not fly without reason. They walked one after another, separated by the flowing crowd, making their way back to the inn.
Until Xie Zhefeng reached the door.
An Wuxue remained halfway up the steps.
He looked up at Xie Zhefeng’s back and suddenly asked, “Friend Xie, you said you wanted to help your old friend see more of the human world in Zhaoshui City—he’s no longer here?”
Xie Zhefeng’s back seemed to stiffen.
He gave no answer.
Even if the Cold Sword Venerable used a perfect clone at the Great Achievement stage to disguise himself, how could he answer every question about a furnace at the Qi Refinement stage?
Yet he had already drawn his conclusion.
The old friend Xie Zhefeng spoke of was truly himself.
He let out a faint laugh.
A vast emptiness dispersed within him; an uncontrollable absurdity rose in his heart.
What was Xie Zhefeng to him?
Was it some fleeting moment at the peak of a thousand years of solitude, when everything had settled like dust, recalling a senior brother who once poured his heart out for his junior brother but ultimately lost his way and met a grim fate—some faint nostalgia in a single thought?
He once thought Xie Zhefeng’s relentless pursuit of clues from the talisman in his hand was to eradicate him utterly.
But looking back now, what kind of feelings drove Xie Zhefeng to personally investigate at the Cloud Sword Sect?
He would rather Xie Zhefeng forget him.
Why bother?
In this world, whether love, hatred, nostalgia, or resentment, all are marks of remembrance and bonds.
He wanted none of it.
He did not want it.
He ascended the steps.
Passing Xie Zhefeng, he stopped and slowly said, “Mortals live but a fleeting life; when dead, their souls vanish. Cultivators are no exception. Dead is dead. Since your old friend is no longer here, no matter how much you look, you cannot see into his eyes. In the end, it is only self-deception.”
“Moreover, he might not—”
Might not want to see this occasional remembrance, this so-called nostalgia revived from time to time.
He did not continue, fell silent, passed Xie Zhefeng, and returned to his own room.
As the door closed, he suddenly let out a deep breath, turned around, leaned against the door, and slowly slid down to sit on the floor, lost in thought for a long while.
Outside, all was silent.
Soon, soft footsteps sounded along the corridor.
—
Xie Zhefeng also entered the room.
An Wuxue stood, brushed off the dust from his clothes, and went to the table to brew himself a pot of warm tea.
He poured the hot tea into a cup; the liquid overflowed onto the table, yet he maintained his pouring posture until the pot’s mouth no longer flowed.
He shook the white jade teapot—there was no sound of water inside.
So he set it down.
—
That night.
The moon rose high, and one after another, the city’s countless lights went out, as Zhaoshui City slowly sank into slumber.
The once bustling inn was now quiet, with only a small light by the door, the main entrance ajar, hiding any trace of people moving inside.
Inside the dim room.
Xie Zhefeng sat cross-legged on the bed.
He had been like this for an entire day.
Since returning from the city lord’s mansion to the inn, whether it was from seeing the massive Sword of Illuminated Waters too much, or the lingering fragrance of the flower carriage, or those few harsh truths from Su Xue that were too impeccable, the heart demons sealed deep in his mind finally found a chance to surface quietly.
Whenever he closed his eyes, a voice identical to his own echoed within his sea of consciousness.
“You are already the foremost of the two realms; why cling to the faint hope of reviving your senior brother? For hundreds of years, you have sought the soul-nourishing tree spirit, searched for resurrection methods, and tried to uncover the truth of the past to clear your senior brother’s name. But what have you gained?”
“Your senior brother has been dead for a thousand years. There are no more ties to you in this world. Why not establish the Path of Ruthlessness anew, and seek that higher level no immortal has ever reached?”
“…Isn’t Su Xue right? Talk of all seas calm and peaceful—no matter how much you see, your senior brother cannot see it, can he? Since he can’t, rather than self-deceiving, why not destroy all this? Why should your senior brother remain blind, while the countless beings protected by the Ten Thousand Sword Array enjoy it?”
“You will never know how cold the Ancient Tower is, never meet someone willing to step into the Extreme North and the Star River Path just to get you a piece of clothing, never play a complete game of chess, never return to those nights of embracing and slaying demons as a youth. You will never see him again.”
“Isn’t all this your own doing?”
“……”
Each word, a cruel accusation.
Xie Zhefeng was not unmoved.
For a thousand years, he had heard the chaos of these heart demons countless times.
He had argued, questioned, and reflected.
He had frantically searched all the ancient texts at the Falling Moon Peak for ways to retrieve the soul.
The same wound, cut open so many times—it was not that it no longer hurt, but he had grown accustomed to the pain.
He sat perfectly still, preparing to channel the Purity Heart technique to suppress distracting thoughts.
Sensing his resolve, the heart demon realized it could no longer sway his emotions.
From somewhere else, another voice, also resembling his own, floated faintly: “Don’t you think you have been too lenient with that Qi Refinement stage furnace?”
The Purity Heart technique halted abruptly.
“When the Cloud Sword Sect took Su Xue up to Falling Moon Peak, you did not want him to become someone else’s furnace bearing your senior brother’s face, so you left him behind—you told yourself this, didn’t you?”
His slightly relaxed brows suddenly furrowed tightly.
When Yun Zhou and Yun Yao brought Su Xue to Falling Moon Peak, he was just about to go out seeking clues to the source of the turbid Qi.
A portrait was presented before him: Su Xue stood at the foot of the long staircase, head bowed, seemingly fearful.
The person in the portrait resembled his senior brother remarkably.
Moreover, Su Xue had already been branded with the furnace seal. If he had not left him behind, who knew whose furnace he would have become, bearing that face?
So he redirected his Qi into the furnace seal, leaving the person behind, thinking it was merely one more idler on Falling Moon Peak.
Su Xue had kept his head bowed the entire time, and since he cared little about the person, he left in a hurry without a closer look.
Until he returned to the mountain gate, and that face was revealed when the veil was removed…
“…You tolerated his repeated transgressions and insolence. That night beneath the soul-nourishing tree, he, a mere ant from the mortal world, saw your abnormality. You neither killed him nor mentioned it to him. You could tell yourself all this was because of that face, that you were more forgiving for him. But what have you done since coming to Zhaoshui City?”
“You didn’t want to see him disappointed, so you even wanted to buy him a flower lantern! You let your feelings be stirred by him—”
“Silence.”
The heart demon laughed wildly: “You think he not only looks like your senior brother but that you can find shadows of your brother in him. You know Su Xue is not An Wuxue, yet you drink poison to quench your thirst through him.”
Xie Zhefeng froze.
In a thousand years, countless beings like grains of sand in an endless river, it was not uncommon to encounter someone resembling his senior brother.
But he never lingered.
His senior brother was his senior brother; others were others.
But Su Xue…
Why Su Xue…
Why?
No…
It should not be so.
“Senior brother.”
The heart demon seemed to savor these two words slowly.
“A mere flower lantern can confuse you, a similar person can stir your emotions—do you truly love your senior brother?”
“Do you love the one who truly existed, or the illusion formed by the bitter fruits of regret and the unattainable?”
“Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!”
“……”
His main soul still remained at Falling Moon. The heart demon, suppressed within the soul, could not disturb the surroundings but could still unsettle his heart.
Above the distant Frost Sea, the true body in the midst of the snowstorm seemed to shudder slightly.
Beneath the barrier, the wind howled and snow fell fiercely.
The Cold Sword trembled, already showing signs of being drawn.
In Zhaoshui City, on the bed, Xie Zhefeng’s hands, which had been resting, slowly clenched into fists.
The silence around him was deathly, yet he felt as if surrounded by a thousand words.
“Knock knock knock…”
“Knock knock knock—”
Suddenly, a knock came at the door.
A soft voice outside asked, “Friend Xie, are you asleep?”
The voices echoing from all directions within the sea of consciousness were silenced at this moment.
All around him was dead silent.
Xie Zhefeng relaxed his hands and slowly opened his eyes.
The person knocking seemed anxious; after a moment without response, they knocked several times more and called out, “Friend Xie?”
A trembling voice drifted through the door, very soft.
Su Xue?
Xie Zhefeng rose.
“…Friend Xie—”
The door creaked open.
The person knocking was leaning against the door. As soon as it swung open, the person seemed to have no strength and stumbled forward!
Xie Zhefeng stood just behind the door and immediately raised his hand to catch him.
Though Zhaoshui City was clearly no summer heat, it felt as if he had caught a warm stove, holding a burning heat in his arms.
The person whispered softly in his embrace.
A face bearing a striking resemblance to his senior brother was shrouded in moonlight’s haze, cheeks flushed spreading behind the ears, eyes moist, foggy, half-awake, half-closed, slowly looking up at him.
In his memory, he seemed to have seen such a look.
He unconsciously tightened his grip on the person’s hand.
The heart demon’s words echoed in his mind.
“…Senior brother.”
“A similar person can stir your heart—do you truly love your senior brother?”
He suddenly withdrew his hands and stepped back.
An Wuxue also sensed something.
His thoughts tangled in a mess, dizzy and burning, yet the moment he touched Xie Zhefeng, feeling the slight coolness of his hands, he suddenly recalled how cold the Cold Sword’s light truly was.