Chapter Ninety-Six: Eek!!!

The road to Peach Blossom Village was not long. Daoyi, no longer gaunt and frail, reached the village in no time. Beneath a peach tree, he saw several old men chatting and laughing over all manner of great and small affairs.

Beside one of the elders sat a young man dressed in peach-colored clothes, innocent and pure, occasionally tossing in a few words that sent the old men around him into hearty laughter.

At the sight of this warm and harmonious scene, Daoyi could not help but smile. At the very least, they truly treated one another like family now.

“Grandfather Village Chief! Look! It’s him, that liar who claimed to be my sister’s sweetheart!” Xiaoqian cried out in accusation as soon as he saw the approaching figure, his face twisted with indignation.

“Sorry, and who are you?” Daoyi replied with perfect blankness.

“...You bastard!” Xiaoqian exploded at once.

“Old sir, long time no see.” Ignoring Xiaoqian, Daoyi turned to the village chief, whom he had now met three or four times, and bowed slightly.

“Young man, I’m afraid I’ve never seen you before,” the village chief said, looking faintly puzzled.

Heh. One of the people who bit me those nights was definitely you. Even if you were ground to ash, I’d still know you.

“Is that so? Then I must have remembered wrong. But it’s already late now, so might I beg a place to stay for the night?” Daoyi asked humbly.

“Of course! Old Li, Old Zhang, let’s call the others...” The village chief seemed delighted, sweeping a hand grandly as if to say something more, but Daoyi cut him off at once.

“Grandfather, let’s not make any arrangements.”

“Huh?”

Damn it, eating again? Eat what, exactly? As if I’m not already sick to death of it! You lot aren’t tired of it, but I am!

“Cough, no, what I mean is there’s no need to make a fuss or stir up a grand welcome. I’ll be leaving tomorrow.”

“If you’re worried about causing trouble, there’s no need. Everyone in Peach Blossom Village is hospitable.”

Damn it all, hospitable, my foot! If you people don’t come eat me by nightfall, that’s already a blessing!

“All right then, I want steamed lamb, steamed bear paws, steamed deer tail, roast duck, roast squab, roast goose, braised pork, braised duck, soy-sauced chicken, cured meat, pressed pork belly...” Without caring whether they understood a word of it, Daoyi rattled off dish after dish until he was left panting.

Hoo. How come I never realized I had a talent for cross-talk?

Leaving the village chief and the old men staring dumbly after him, Daoyi swaggered off, dragging Xiaoqian toward his dwelling.

“Hey, what are you pulling me for!” Xiaoqian demanded angrily.

“To find my old sweetheart,” Daoyi said without a trace of humility.

“Bah! Shameless wretch! How could my sister possibly know someone like you!” Xiaoqian slapped away the hand dragging him along and cursed loudly.

“Xiaoqian, you’re still young. There are many things you don’t understand. That night’s charm and fragrance—how could a child like you possibly grasp it?” Daoyi said with a look of nostalgic sighing.

“That night?” Xiaoqian blinked.

“Yes. That night the sky was bright as a river of stars. Your sister and I gathered the starry river into our dreams and took moonlight as our coverlet.”

“If I were to put it into verse, it would be: after drunkenness, one no longer knows the sky is in the water; a boatful of lucid dreams presses down upon the river of stars.” Daoyi wore the shameless expression of a man lost in reverie, his eyes full of yearning.

“How beautiful...” Xiaoqian murmured, his imagination running wild.

“Exactly! Your sister and I were two hearts in accord!” Daoyi agreed solemnly.

“But my sister is only sixteen this year! I grew up together with her—where did that night come from? How come I never knew about it!”

“......”

Forget it. If this brat can’t be fooled, so be it. Why did he have a bit of brains this time? I’ve never seen that before.

“Hey! Don’t go! Tell me straight what you mean!” Xiaoqian shouted when Daoyi stopped paying him any mind.

“Stop babbling! At a time like this, if you’d just believe me like an idiot, wouldn’t that save me a ton of trouble? I already have to deal with your sister, and now I have to deal with you too!”

“...You bastard! You’re fooling me again!” Xiaoqian roared, instantly furious.

Amid the uproar, the two of them arrived at the dwelling shared by Xiaoqian and Yaoyao. The courtyard was just as it had always been, strewn with peach blossoms, with a few chicks pecking at millet and the clatter of something coming from inside the house.

“Sis! I’m back!” Xiaoqian shouted into the house.

“Oh? Xiaoqian, come quickly. There’s a little mouse eating the rice in our house,” came a sweet and lovely voice from within, though it carried a hint of urgency.

“What?!” Daoyi felt as if his eardrums were about to burst. Beside him, Xiaoqian’s voice shot up several notches, as if he had heard something utterly outrageous.

“Xiaoqian! At a time like this, a little brat like you had better not make things worse! No matter what, I’m still your sister’s old sweetheart! Leave this to me!” Seeing that his moment had come, Daoyi ignored Xiaoqian’s protests and strode into the house without the slightest hesitation.

For him, perhaps, this was all there was to rescuing a beauty in distress.

A few breaths later.

“Eeeek!!!” A shriek burst from inside the house. It was Daoyi’s voice, followed by a crash and a clatter of tumbling objects.

Half an incense stick later.

“Didn’t I say so earlier? Just leave this kind of thing to me. If you can’t do it, then you can’t do it. Why force yourself?” Xiaoqian taunted from the side, while Daoyi trembled on a long bench.

Damn it all! Have you ever seen a rat bigger than a cat? That thing was a little mouse? What kind of misunderstanding do you people have about the word little mouse?

If I weren’t worried that word got out about a cultivator like me being unable to handle a rat, I’d have shown you a thing or two!

...Though, come to think of it, I don’t actually know any spells.

If I weren’t worried that you two would refuse to use the sky as your blanket and the earth as your bed tonight, I’d have gone straight into an ancient-demon transformation and punched both the house and that rat into the heavens!

“I’m terribly sorry. I frightened you. That little mouse has already been driven away.” Yaoyao’s breathtaking face was full of apology.

As expected, you people really do have a serious misunderstanding about the phrase little mouse!

Daoyi, badly shaken, wore a gloomy expression for a moment before straightening himself up. I’m here on serious business!

“Xiaoqian, the village chief just said that Aunt Xu next door’s sow gave birth, and he wants you to go help.”

“Aunt Xu? Didn’t the sow in her house get cooked into a dish yesterday?”

“...Then it must be Aunt Chen.”

“Aunt Chen’s gave birth only last month.”

“Then it’s Aunt Li’s!”

“Aunt Li? Doesn’t she raise rabbit kits?”

...

I feel offended somehow.

“Do you know what process a pig goes through from youth to maturity?”

“What process?”

“From stinking to fragrant! Your Aunt Zhang secretly ate braised pork behind your back and even told me not to tell you.”

“What?!” Xiaoqian’s voice rose several more octaves, and he dashed out in a flurry.

This kid still doesn’t have much of a brain... and until now I never realized he was also a glutton...

“Hm? Where did Xiaoqian go?” Yaoyao asked as she finished tidying up another room and came over.

“He’s gone off to find the meaning of growth,” Daoyi said with utmost seriousness.

“Huh?”

“It’s nothing. We don’t need to worry about him. We still have serious business to attend to!”

“Serious business?” Yaoyao looked at him strangely.

“...Don’t look at me like that, and don’t overthink it. I’m an honest man. I’m not the sort to be careless about such things.” Daoyi declared righteously, then muttered under his breath, “Unless I can’t help myself.”

“Cough, Yaoyao, have you ever heard of...”

Daoyi moistened his lips, as if the words were difficult to bring out. Recalling once more the scenes the old peach tree had described, he hardened his heart and said, “Have you ever heard of Baili Mo?”

As long as the memories were deep enough, then even if they were sealed away, they would surely return. Though that memory would be painful, it was the only way to be set free. Avoidance would never solve anything.