Chapter Twenty-Four: Simply Because You Are You

"Enough."

Though his words were beautiful, Xiaoxiao still interrupted him. “I told you, it wasn’t suicide. You don’t need to feel guilty. Besides, I don’t need your pity.”

This time, it was Lin Shuo who grew agitated, defending himself. “It’s not pity.” He was a little emotional, gripping Xiaoxiao’s shoulders, his tone earnest and solemn. “I like you, simply because you are you. Simply because of the serious look you had that day, and by chance, the plain long dress you wore.”

“Are you serious? Please, I can’t afford to play games like that.” Xiaoxiao’s mind was in a whirl—she didn’t dare believe this was real. She thought perhaps it was just her yearning too much for something she couldn’t have, that she’d conjured up such an unrealistic dream. Yet even if it was a dream, she longed for Lin Shuo’s affirmation.

“Xiaoxiao, I know perfectly well what I’m saying. Please, don’t doubt me.” Lin Shuo’s words brimmed with genuine feeling. Xiaoxiao had to admit she was a person who lacked resolve; even the most excruciating wounds hadn’t drawn a single tear from her, and now, with just a few gentle words from Lin Shuo, her eyes brimmed with tears. Especially when Lin Shuo embraced her, it was the first time she realized that tears of joy were not as foolish as she’d imagined.

She hated the dampness of rainy days, hated the city trees under the overpass eternally shrouded in dust, hated the endless, murky puddles. But now she had Lin Shuo. Because of him, everything seemed good.

At the end of the dream, she and Lin Shuo were walking hand in hand across the campus, becoming the envy of all as a perfect couple. Yet the chill of reality allowed not a sliver of warmth from the dream to linger. She awoke abruptly, the acrid scent of tobacco stinging her senses. Opening her eyes, she saw Lin Shuo sitting in her single armchair, legs carelessly propped against the edge of the coffee table, his face half-shrouded in smoke, giving her only his profile.

Fragmented memories slowly pieced themselves together. She hastily grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around her bare body. Lin Shuo stubbed out his cigarette, stood, and brushed the ashes from his suit jacket. He turned, his expression full of ridicule as he delivered his verdict: “You really are willing to do anything for your future.”

The tenderness and intimacy from a few hours ago had utterly vanished. As the door closed behind him, Xiaoxiao felt more awake than ever. Nothing from last night had returned to the way it was; on the contrary, it only made him despise her more.

In the office.

Manager Huang hung up the phone, smoking in silence. Xiaoxiao sensed trouble. After a long pause, Manager Huang finally spoke, “I’ve called several times and still can’t get through to President Lin. What on earth is going on?”

“They’re a big company—it's no surprise they’re not interested in such a small collaboration,” Xiaoxiao replied. Half a month had slipped by without her reaching out to Lin Shuo. She knew he had only wanted to toy with her. Since he had already taken what he wanted, why give him the rest of herself just to be insulted?

“That’s easy for you to say. Clearly, you didn’t try hard enough.”

How laughable. Was she really expected to recount every detail of that night just to prove her unwavering loyalty to the company? She wondered when the world’s measure of hard work had become how much one was willing to give in bed, or how shameless one could be.

Seeing her defiant attitude, Manager Huang realized he couldn't do anything about her until the deal was truly dead. He could only swallow his anger and send her back to work. Xiaoxiao almost wished he would just say the words and break things off; then she would have a perfect reason to step down gracefully.

Lonely Hours: No More Talk of Love, Chapter 24—Only Because You Are You, complete.