Chapter Fifty-Five: There Is a Kind of Taboo Called a Lifetime-Don't Talk About Love When You're Lonely(A petty scholar bound by rigid interpretations)

The entire room was instantly plunged back into silence at her abrupt interjection, so quiet it sent chills down one's spine. In the midst of this deathly stillness, she wept in silence, despising herself for being so vulnerable.

In this round, she had been thoroughly defeated.

Lin Shuo felt as if his heart were weighed down by a boulder, heavy and unyielding. He had no idea, when a woman uttered such soul-wrenching words to a man, how much of it was truly believable without question. He wanted to listen, yet he feared what he might hear. If those events had never happened, hearing Xiaoxiao’s heartfelt confession would have delighted him; but now, he was conflicted, as if an unnamed fire tormented his soul.

After a long while, he gently released her legs, closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his demeanor filled with anguish. When he opened his eyes again, he swiftly regained his calm, detached expression. Without a word, he stood up and walked out. The sound of the closing door signified that she was now alone in the room, and at last, she could hold herself and cry as much as she wished.

Many things, if missed in the moment, may never come again in a lifetime. She used to love accompanying Lin Shuo to class when she had no lectures herself, and after a while, even the teachers would tease them now and then. One day, when she didn’t show up, the teacher casually asked Lin Shuo, “Where’s our department’s flower?” Though Lin Shuo always seemed annoyed by such jokes, he still answered with a smile on his lips, “She’s sick.” Then he went out and bought porridge to visit her, attentive to every detail.

She laughed for a long time when she heard about it, blinking her big eyes as she acted spoiled, saying, “See, even your teacher assumes we’re a couple. If we don’t spend our whole lives together, it’ll be a crime against heaven!” He patted her head, cherishing her innocence from the bottom of his heart.

If someone is allergic to mangoes, he’ll never eat mangoes again; if someone has been betrayed, he’ll never trust that person again. For the two of them, the greatest taboo was “a lifetime,” because they would never reach it.

At dawn, after packing her things, she decided to say goodbye to him. Perhaps she never should have traveled with him. She walked to his room, but before she could knock, the owner of the room called out to her, puzzled, “He’s gone, left last night. Did you two have a fight?”

She didn’t reply, nor did she feel like crying anymore. She didn’t even feel hurt, as if she had long grown used to this pattern—as though, in a program, reaching a certain step meant all subsequent steps were predetermined, looping endlessly, never ceasing. She lifted the corners of her mouth in a self-mocking smile; she thought she could leave him with a glimpse of her back, but it turned out she was always the one left behind.

In the end, that meter of sunlight was just too fleeting.

Back in Kunming, Xiaoxiao ended her leave early, took back all the work she had previously handed off to her colleagues, and threw herself into her tasks as if energized by some stimulant. He Li advised her not to overdo it, saying the company didn’t give out outstanding employee awards, but Xiaoxiao merely smiled and said she didn’t want her life to go to waste. Looking around, she wondered how many covetous eyes lurked in the shadows; in an environment where mediocrity steps aside, the capable rise, and the indifferent fall behind, one’s lack of effort simply fuels someone else’s progress.

During this period, there was no contact between them.

Bai Yunchuan finished yet another blind date, and Xiaoxiao shifted from behind the scenes to the forefront. Seeing how haggard she looked, Bai Yunchuan teased, “Anyone who didn’t know would think you were the one who failed the date.”

She glanced sideways and saw Yu Xin approaching, smiled and asked, “Who can match your springtime swagger and swift stride?” She patted his back. “Go on, go on.”

Bai Yunchuan was curious, “What about you? Aren’t you leaving?”

She squinted her eyes, pretending to stretch in contentment. “I’ll sit a while longer, steal a moment of laziness.”

Lonely moments are no time for love.

Chapter Fifty-Five: There is a taboo called ‘a lifetime’—completed!